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Personal Development

How to fall in love with yourself

The journey to self-love is crucial.

Tips for loving yourself more effectively.

Journal daily
Active kindness
Balance the self-talk

What kind of self-talk takes up most of the space in your life? Is that inner voice overwhelmingly negative? Or is it a voice of kindness and reason? You’ve got to find the balance between your inner critic and your inner cheerleader if you want to find a way to love yourself and the life you’re building. Have you given your inner critic the keys to the kingdom? Take them back and remind yourself of all the ways in which you are skilled and worthy.

Practice altruism

Giving to others is one of the better ways to realize the good in ourselves. Seeing this good, we are more likely to love and empathize with our inner self. How often do you use altruism as a means of boosting your mood and self-esteem? You realize how powerful and good you are when you spend your time in service to those who need help and grace. Put yourself out there and be loving toward others so you can love yourself.

Engage in meditation

A big part of loving ourselves involves being able to be present with ourselves. What happens when you’re left alone with yourself? Do you feel the compulsive itch to immediately fill that space with other people, and experiences that distract or involve you deeply? These are often signs that we are running from ourselves. We don’t run from the people that we love. Engage in loving and mindful meditation so that you can be present and loving with who you are.

Focus on power

So many of us cannot love ourselves because we spend too much time giving our power away to others. To love yourself is to have power over your life and the environment around you. When you love yourself, you stand up for yourself and go after the things you really want in your life. You need to take back this power for yourself. You’ve got to stop looking to others for validation and know that you are the only person who can supply that self-worth you’ve been seeking.

Lean into forgiveness

You will never tap into the full extent of your love until you learn how to forgive yourself. We all make mistakes in this life. We all get things wrong. In order for you to find any peace, you’re going to have to confront and accept the humanity in you. Lean into forgiveness. Allow yourself to get it wrong and see it as an opportunity to learn the right way. The greater your forgiveness of self becomes, the easier it will be for you to love yourself inside and out.

Putting it all together…

It’s impossible to build a life that we love when we don’t even love ourselves. Self-love is a stepping stone into all the other facets of love in our lives. Want to have better intimate relationships? Want more material success in your career? It’s all built on how we see ourselves and how deeply we love and value the person inside.

Journal daily and use the space to celebrate your accomplishments and the things you like about yourself. Each evening write at least 3 things you did well and then write at least 1 thing you love about yourself. Practice active kindness. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend or a partner. Balance out your self-talk. Every time that critical voice inside your head pops up, put it down and tell it it has no power over your life or the way you see yourself. Don’t just dwell on yourself, though. One of the best ways to learn self-love is to build altruism into our lives. Give to others and you will find it easier to give to yourself. Take back your power and forgive yourself often for mistakes you make. We’re all human and we’re all doing the best we can to build a life that we love. Embrace the journey and love yourself too.

  • Campbell, W., Foster, C. and Finkel, E., 2002. Does self-love lead to love for others? A story of narcissistic game playing. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 83(2), pp.340–354.

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