And that all comes down to you. That’s right. You are the reason your last relationship failed. Not because you made your partner cheat. Not because something in you made them abusive. Your last relationship failed because you didn’t listen to yourself. When the red flags came, you didn’t walk out. When you realized that they didn’t want the same things – you stayed around anyway.
Because that’s what it really comes down to.
We know what we want.
More often than not, the failure of our relationships isn’t a surprise. We know we’re with the wrong people. We know we’re perpetuating behaviors and choices that don’t line up with our true alignment. Authenticity matters, and that’s not just in the workplace or in our friendships. Authenticity matters in love, but we often ignore that. Because we think we can change the people that we love. We think we can shape them to fit whatever standard of love and connection we’ve invented for ourselves. Love doesn’t work that way, though. You don’t make someone fit the dream you’re building.
We cling to these toxic relationship beliefs because:
- We were taught to in childhood
- We have zero respect for self
- We don’t know how to love ourselves
We can build something better.
If you want your relationships to last, then the only choice you have is to pick the right ones. Dig deep, and figure out what you expect to gain from romantic relationship. Who do you want to be with? How do you want to be treated? What kind of life do you want to have together? What within you is keeping you back from that? So many of us never question the toxic inheritance that’s been handed down to us in love. Getting happy isn’t magical and it isn’t accidental. Happy people make that happiness for themselves by working out their issues and squaring away the pain that haunts them in the past.
You can start building better relationships for yourself, but not until you get honest about the decisions that you’re making. Start today and figure out where your hangups are holding you back in life.
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